if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
