Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
