First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
time to smoke my breakfast
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
