i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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