New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
