We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
that may or may not have been my penis.
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