gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
you had me at cake vodka
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize