just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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