thus making me awesome and them whores
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
