dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
