I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
id be glad to
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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