Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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