walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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