Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
