Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
