Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And then my night got REAL pukey
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
