I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
