there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
