We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This baby is an asshole
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
