I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
