Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
