I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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