Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The Olympian is in my bed
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