Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
