dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
