she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize