Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
