im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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