I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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