dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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