I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize