it hurts more in the daytime
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
