So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
