Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
