I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
