Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We got so high we made milksteak
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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