can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
