Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
