put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
