Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize