Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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