my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
