Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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