why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
