Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
