I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
