Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
