I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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