True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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