where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
