Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize