Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
