Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
