ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
