So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the liver wants what the liver wants
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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