What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
