i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
